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| Paste a text for analysis | For the the first visit yeah Christmas Eve started and you know it was a holiday you know Few days crazy there at the Christmas and then of course I I got your the the the e-mail that you sent you know read it I went through it you know I but it was you know a couple of days after because you know it was a Christmas so a couple of things you know it was you know I was talking to to my wife and I was like what kind of unfair because I was able to do some things but not all things because you know as I take it up with a short week and everybody was infectious spirit so nobody was in a bad mood so you know OK you know it was good umm OK and so how do you feel how do you feel overall right now hold on just a moment hold on what do you call this yes how you feel it overall you know since our last session I know like you said we had a rough start and you know there let me let me let me tell you a little about me I care about my clients and I want my clients to learn skills and I know how and I value marriages and I believe in order for the marriage to work you know work on the issues it's something you have to work on also and like we're definitely going to do some therapy together you know with your wife but I want to focus more on you because like you know with your wife was saying a lot of it is you it's not like we're putting you down or making you feel guilty it just that you do have like you say you don't like to say angry you say what's your word you prefer using impatient impatient and that's good too that's good too and and none of it is bad none of it is bad it's what follows and that's what we want to prevent the aggression yeah yeah I mean I don't guess well me I don't consider myself progressive but other people looking might consider my being aggressive and that's the stigmatism that I've stigmatism that as black people you know we have to deal with people taking us as being more aggressive than what we are um especially well all the time I mean it's it's just a it's just a a battle that nobody else is outside of us will understand yeah exactly but you know I had a good I had a good week we did some things different it was a good week and I'm I'm building probably 50 to 75% better than I thought last Monday so OK and so tell me like with you you know what let's get back on to things that you can focus on so you can improve so you know we can't control what other people think about us you know people going always say we're aggressive especially with black women always want to tell us to calm down because when we start expressing how we feel but no I'm going to I'm I'm assertive and I want you to be assertive assertive assertive mean you standing up for what you want what you believe in and you're considering the other person also you know so it's like being an owl you're making wise decisions and when it comes to your decision making how do you feel like your decision making sense umm I obviously I don't know how to make decisions I think my decision making bodies are are fine OK when you're angry I mean impatient ohh if from that impatient or from that angry guy trying to make a decision at that time according to do you make it according to how you're feeling on emotions I I hope if I'm if I'm if I'm angry I'm upset not to make decisions until I'm you know until the matter de escalates right alright so do you make when you do you do you allow that matter to deescalate or you just immediately react so it's kind of hard to say if I'm not in in it but I I like to I like to think that I like things to do before I make a decision ohh you say just go ahead actually I just I like to think that I I like things to calm down before decisions are made we don't make rash decisions on well I don't think I do so OK OK but like that stop skill is always helpful you can use it used it a couple times when people cut me off this week and it it worked so I was you know I I caught myself like yeah I caught myself a couple of times and and and I'm like you know what it's not as good because it's it's not worth it and so it's not worth it at all because you know we have choices we can choose to you know go to the left all the time or we can choose to stay balanced is it really worth it you thought about it and you're more you're more aware now yeah yeah and that's great you thought about it you know it's not worth it yes that's good and this this is what DBT does DBT makes you more aware of your thoughts your action what are you about to say and the more you practice the more it's going to just be coming because like I I use it so I just say you know it's not worth it and then like when someone constantly draining you I said you know what and I see that person calling I send a text I talk to you later how you doing and that's it because I'm not going to lie no one to change how I'm feeling you know my emotions I'm not gonna allow no one to drain me and it's all about things that we allow that you allow someone to make yo |
During our initial visit, which coincided with the Christmas Eve holiday, I sensed a unique atmosphere. The festive spirit made the environment rather dynamic, and naturally, my response to your email was slightly delayed. I appreciate your patience in this matter. My discussions with my spouse during this time highlighted the complexities of personal and relational responsibilities, particularly when navigating the holiday season.
Reflecting on our previous session, I am aware that we faced some initial challenges. However, our engagement has smoothed out as we continue to explore your feelings and emotional responses. It is essential for me to communicate that I genuinely care about my clients and strive to equip them with the skills necessary to address their concerns effectively. Valuing the sanctity of marriage, I want to underscore that successful relationships require mutual effort and honest communication.
Our work will encompass sessions where both you and your wife can participate, but I would like to concentrate on your individual experience first. It is important to recognize that the issues at hand are not indicative of personal failure; rather, they are opportunities for growth and understanding.
I noted your preference for the term "impatience" over "anger." It's crucial to acknowledge that neither emotion is inherently negative; the real challenge lies in managing how these emotions manifest. Our goal is to identify and curtail any aggressive tendencies that may arise from these feelings. I understand that societal perceptions—especially towards individuals from marginalized communities—often misinterpret assertive expressions as aggression. This is an ongoing challenge that deserves to be explored further.
This past week has shown positive changes in your outlook, with you feeling about 50% to 75% better than in our last session. I applaud your progress and resilience.
To enhance your emotional health further, let's carefully examine your decision-making process. It is imperative to recognize that our choices can sometimes stem from immediate emotional states. When faced with feelings of impatience, it’s vital to avoid rushing decisions. I appreciate your insight regarding the necessity for matters to de-escalate prior to arriving at judgments.
You mentioned employing skills from Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) to manage reactions when confronted with potential triggers, such as instances of being cut off in traffic. This technique is a testament to your growing awareness and ability to choose how to respond to situations. Engaging in self-reflection about these experiences solidifies your understanding that it is often more beneficial to allow moments to pass rather than react impulsively.
Your journey towards greater emotional awareness is commendable and will require consistent practice. DBT encourages mindfulness, which can serve as a valuable tool in assessing your thoughts and actions before responding. I encourage you to continue utilizing these strategies as you move forward in your personal growth.
It is important to remember that the power to control your emotional responses lies within you. Each choice you make contributes not only to your well-being but also to the dynamics of those around you. Maintaining this balance is key as you navigate the complexities of your relationships and individual experiences. Thank you for your openness in our discussions; I look forward to continuing this journey together.